Dialogue with Steady


 
Dialogue with Steady
 
 
 
 

when?


When?

 

In a month … maybe two… a year… maybe two

Wounds would calm down

Would ease… and go to sleep… maybe even pass away

 

My wound is not the same

The size of my wound

Bigger than scope of space

The age of my wound

Older than time

 

Good-bye years of happiness

Sweet dreams

Genuine smiles

Good-bye my life

Good-bye my love

 

Sweetheart

I see you… far… far away… out of my reach…

I gasp for you

On the brink of insanity I linger

Broken… lonely… remnants of a woman I sit and wait

 

Sweetheart

I see you far… far away… out of my reach…

I see you with my heart

With my soul

With my love

I see your hands

Your smile… your laughter

Your words… your voice

Your gaze… your brow

 

Sweetheart

I see you far… far away… out of my reach…

Aimless… breathless… on the path of insomnia that I never took before

I race

Every step without you is blind darkness

Every move… a wobbly venture

Every blink… an aborted dream

Every heartbeat… a paradise lost

Every breath I take is a craving new wound

 

Sweetheart

The night of longing has spread its wings out

Over a yearning wounded woman

Aching to see

An end

To all this pain

 

999 

13-10-2006

© Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved 

Now I whisper


 

Now I whisper

 

You are my joy and my sorrow

You used to whisper

 

When you smile and when you laugh

You make me the happiest man on earth

You used to whisper

 

When you’re hurt or when you cry

My heart is filled with grief and gloom

You used to whisper

 

Detached, my feelings are lifeless

A broken mirror… a scrambled shadow

You used to whisper

 

My feelings are nothing but a faint echo

You are my joy and my sorrow

You used to whisper

 

 

 

Your love taught me anguish and delight

Now I whisper

 

You are my joy and my sorrow

Now I whisper

 

12-03-2006

 

 

© Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved 

Nostalgia


 

 Nostalgia

 

Since my eyes met with yours

I knew…

I knew it was you

The one my heart was yearning for

“Love at first sight”

They say

 

When you proposed

Hesitation struck

I thought… I’m still too young

I thought… I don’t know you well enough

I thought… we’ve only met a few times

I thought… I need time to think

I thought… are you as nice as you look

I thought… can you make a good husband

I thought… will you be a responsible father

 I also thought…  I like you too much already

Without knowing much about you

 I thought…how stupid of me

 

Later, when you told me

 That you have heart problems

I couldn’t say “no” any more

YES, was my immediate answer

 I thought…If I say “no” now

That might mean I am refusing you

For something beyond your control

I thought… illness and health

Have nothing to do with life and death

I thought…grow up girl

And live up to your principles

 

My parents were horrified

How could I say “yes”

 When I knew the problem

Stubborn, as you know

I insisted

 

After engagement

I began to realise

You are no ordinary man

Your inner beauty began to unfold

I knew I had stumbled upon

A treasure like no other

My love didn’t stop growing

Ever since

 

9-2-2006

 

 

© Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved 

Longing


 

Longing

 

 

Longing to touch your face

Tell you how beautiful

Just like your soul

 

Longing to hold your hand

Tell you how warm

Just like your heart

 

Longing to stroke your hair

Tell you how soft

Just like your manners

 

Longing to gaze into your eyes

Tell you how gorgeous

Just like your charisma

 

Longing to hear your voice

Tell you how tender

Just like your personality

 

Longing to caress your brow

Tell you how pure

Just like your essence

 

Longing to lay by your side

Tell you how safe

Just like your company

 

Longing to nibble from your fingers

Tell you how delicious

Just like your persona

 

Longing to hear your keys in the door

Tell you how comforting

Just like your presence

 

 

Longing to receive your emails

Tell you how uplifting

Just like your spirit

 

Longing to see your number on my mobile

Tell you how exciting

Just like your friendship

 

Longing to chat with you on msn

Tell you how moving

Just like your love

 

Longing to rest in your arms

And sleeeeep

Sleep for ever

 

Longing to lay my head

Over your shoulders

Bury my face

In your chest

And weep

Weeeeeep

As I’ve never done before

 

I need to weep

And fill the oceans with my tears

 

I need to weep

Until the world weeps with me

 

I need to weep

Until The Most Compassionate

Feels sorry for me

And reunites me with you

 

For I am longing

To be with you

Habibi

 

5-2-2006

© Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved 

Like two small children


 

Like two small children

Do you remember that magical afternoon?

When the sun smiled at us

And like two fascinated children

We smiled back

 

Then, like two playful children

We ran together

Chasing a butterfly

On the hills of Windermere

 

Like two happy children

We wandered together

As we enjoyed our fruity ice-cream

Along the lake’s shoreline

 

Like two innocent children

We played together

Arranging cups and saucers for our picnic

In our secret garden

 

Like two mischievous children

We giggled together

As we collected the scattered petals of roses

That the newly-wed couple threw away

 

And like two joyful children

We laid ourselves down on the grass

Embracing heaven…

And earth

As we rolled over

 

Do you remember?

 

12-2-2006

 

 © Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved 

Let there be love


 

Let there be love

 

 

I am in pain

Yes…

Too much pain

I don’t deny

 

Yet wings of joy are spread wide

Carrying me through

Lifting me high

 

Joy of knowing you

So closely

 

Joy of being part of your life

If only for a while

 

Joy of sharing memories

That no one knows but you and me

 

And if I was to choose another life

I’d choose my life with you again

And again

And again

And again

 

If you make a home for “love” within your heart

Despite the pain your life becomes a home for joy

 

Let there be love

There’ll always be joy

 

10-2007

 

 © Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved 

In the nest of Ness


 

In the nest of Ness

 

 

Overlooking the rockery garden

In your loving arms

I fell asleep

 

Your lap

Most tender pillow

And warm abode

 

For how long did you hold me sitting so still?

I never even asked

 

Sky was drizzling love

 

Clouds gleaming with delight

 

And for a while

 

Peace descended

 

Angels snoozed

 

Heaven smiled

 

 

My reality…

 

Sweeter

 

Than the most astounding dreams

 

07-06-2006

 

 

 © Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved 

Khaled; my legend


ba

Khaled; my legend

 

I plait my poem,

 Letters of heavenly fragrance

Arranging its words

 A bouquet of scented flowers

I sang its melody

Whispers of soft musk

And pink amber

Pouring it down upon your heart

A cascade of lights

Tranquility and peace

 

I gather the pages

Of autumn leaves  

From the land of wonderful dreams

Adorned with warm paintings

Of rainbow colours and eastern nights

 

With a mystical thread of stars

I embroider my mythical love story

Into a book, like no other

A masterpiece of passion

A saint’s adoration of paradise

 

Weaving Joseph’s coat of multicolour

Of summer’s warmth

Of the glory of spring

And the longing in lovers’ hearts

Throw it over your shoulders

 

Then, with a child’s magical wand

I turn you into a sparkle of light

 Hide you in my heart

 Warming, and protecting you

To blossom with eternal life

That matches your name

My beloved husband

1996

 DSCF0155

Khaled is an Arabic name which means eternal life, it’s also my husband’s name

 

© Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved 

Land of sorrow


 

Land of sorrow

 

Do you remember

When I wrote my legend

And with my magical wand

I turned you into a sparkle of light

Then hid you in my heart

 

That sparkle has then exploded

With a novel big bang

A universe of love was born

With a thousand thousand stars

Dazzling… superb… splendid

If I was to divide that love

Between all creation

It will suffice and sustain

 

Do you remember Joseph’s coat of multicolour

That I once stitched for you

And threw over your shoulders

 

That coat has then shrouded me

It embraced me along with you

Can you feel me by your side?

That coat has been growing ever since

Elegant… graceful

If it was to hold the entire mankind

Under its wings

It will keep all warm and protected

 

In my deepest land of sorrow

Love grows soft and tender

Passion blooms pink and amber

Beauty thrives please remember

 

07-03-2006

© Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved 

Inseparable


 

Inseparable

 

I was there with you

When love fell in love

 

I was there with you

When joy rejoiced

 

I was there with you

When freedom was set free

 

And I was there with you

When the sea drowned

 

I was there with you

When the sun was burnt

 

I was there with you

When death passed away

 

I was there with you

When all began

 

And I was there with you

When all ended

Do you remember?

7-2-2006

 

© Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved 

I would if I could 1


 

I would if I could

1

 

 

I would if I could, take your place

 

Lie down in a hospital bed

 

And surrender

 

Let the surgeon’s knife

 

 Cut me open

 

For it is much easier for me

 

To experience the pain

 

To live the pain

 

Than watch you hurt

 

Even with a pin prick

 

 

I would if I could, take your ache away

 

Hide you

 

Protect you

 

Keep you out of harm’s way

 

15-11-05

 DSCF0155

© Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved 

I would if I could 2


 

I would if I could

 

I would if I could

Wait for you

Until you’re ready

To be my companion

In my final journey

 

I would if I could

Fight death fiercely

Until he can see

That we are one soul

 living in two different bodies

 

 I would if I could

Buy a thousand lives

Add them to mine

Just to make sure

You’re never left alone

 

 I would if I could

Stay by your side

Holding you near my heart

With my arms around you

Until we eternally combine

 

I would if I could

Keep my promise

To live with you

And to die with you

 

16-03-2006

 

© Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved 

I said… you


 

I said… you

 

They said… a sun

Within its radiation

 The secret of existence

I said… you

 

They said… a full moon

Within its light

The enchantment of eternity

I said… you

 

They said… a melody

A heavenly tune most entrancing

A song… pure… divine

I said… you

 

They said… a flower

A bouquet of roses

A garden sweet delightful

I said… you

 

They said… a work of art

Superb, fascinating

Adored by artists

I said… you

 

They said… a heart

Most loving, most tender

Beating with compassion

I said… you

 

They said… a prayer

Whispered at dawn

By a young girl

Longing for perfection

I said… you

Sweet heart

You… my answered prayer

 

1996

 

© Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved 

Heavenly qualities


 

Heavenly qualities

 

In the winter mornings

When the sun is late coming out

The winds are blowing

The grounds are frozen

I am still tucked in

 

You sneak out of bed

Ever so quietly… ever so gently

Trying hard not to disturb my sleep

 

Then when you start getting dressed

You don’t even put the lights on

Ever so quietly… ever so gently

Trying hard to give an extra hour sleep

 

But sometimes… despite all your efforts

I still wake up

And from the bottom of my heart

From the depths of my soul

I start my day… praying… for you

 

Your boundless love … endless compassion

Heavenly qualities

Never cease to amaze me

 

31-03-2006

 

© Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved 

Feelings and words


 

Feelings and words

 

Trying to squeeze

Feelings into words

Is no act of justice at all

It distorts… it disfigures

It belittles… it demeans

It’s a great offence without a doubt

And to my shame and disgrace

 Indeed I am to blame

Truly “Guilty” I declare

Defend me not

I don’t deserve

 

For feelings can only be felt

 

So, when I write about my love

Don’t ever think

That I’m making sense

 No language can ever convey

The eternal

For expression falls short

By far

 

And feelings can only be felt

 

When I write about my sorrow

Don’t dare believe

My words or verses

My speech is nothing

But hollow hues

How can the infinite

Ever be defined

 

Feelings can only be felt

And truly “Guilty” I declare

 

02-2006

 

© Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved 

Dreams and realities


 

Dreams and realities

 

 

“There is only a fine line that divides

Dreams and reality”

They say

 

In my world

There is no line

 

My dreams and my reality

Are one and the same

 

Smoothly

Blending in

 

As colours unite

New hues are born

 

From blue and yellow

Gentle green emerges

 

As red embraces blue

Vivid violet comes to life

 

My universe is a rainbow

Of many… many colours

 

No lines

No divisions

 

My dreams and my reality merge

As if smudged

By an artist brush

 

I… like a feather

Drift in between

 

25-04-2006

 

 

© Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved 

A rainbow in grey skies


 

A rainbow in grey skies

 

My anguish

A bottomless well

Echoing the murmur of my pain

 

My grief

Dry autumn leaves

Dancing over my wounds

 

My sorrow

Dark thick clouds

Haunting my hollow heart

 

My world

A meaningless word

Grey… grey… grey multihued

Devoid of my sweetheart’s laughter

 

My being

A limping lump of flesh and bones

Wobbly… confused… forever waiting

With a lopsided smile

 

My love

A buoyant rainbow

Cascade of lights

Alluring fantasy

Untouchable mirage

 

07-06-2006

© Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved 

My hajj experience


 

My hajj experience:

Humbled by the sheer number of people, their dedication, sincerity, and longing, enriched by the rainbow of eager fervent faces celebrating the entire humanity, empowered by an invisible bond of spiritual brotherhood, love, and togetherness; all in a state of total devotion, adoration and gratitude to The One Most Loving Creator.

Stunned, I froze.

 Everything else froze with me.

I wanted to capture every face, happy or sad, to save every smile and frown. I wanted to hold every heart with all its joys and sorrows to wrap it up warm and bury it deep in mine. I wanted to whisper to every soul therein of waves of love, prayers, and gratitude that overwhelmed me.

Feelings! What can I say about feelings in such a place? Fondness with absolute submission, elation with total humility, euphoria with utter serenity, weakness with boundless vigour, despair with endless hope, yearning with eternal contentment;  permanently travelling constantly arriving, all pilgrims floating in their own orbits in a peaceful august harmony, chanting their prayers, whispers of unspoken words, songs of silent sighs, transforming the ambience into one of stillness and tranquillity, revealing numinous music with majestic melodies, magnetic tunes, and enormous magnitude that charged the atmosphere, hypnotizing you into a gentle unfathomable daze.

The bond gets stronger and stronger as you start blending into the background of a magnificent masterpiece, diminishing into nothingness, as you experience being one with the whole that there is. You are an atom spinning passionately with the totality of the universe. The macro, the micro and all in between are in a state of oneness that I’ve never sensed with this depth, scale or intensity. Mind dazzling, heart capturing and awe inspiring experience.

Engulfed in mystical mist of love, compassion and mercy that I’ve never felt before, and like all who’re around me I could find nothing but tears streaming down to tell of my joy.

Time lapsed, motion collapsed, and all anguish relapsed as I drank ecstasy and tasted infinity.

Deluded

I thought I could sing before

Why can’t I hear my voice today?

I thought I could paint and write poems

I thought I was articulate

I could bend, shape and wave words

Like a dough, with ease

To speak of I want and plait my story

Where are my words now?

Why can’t I find them?

To tell of how I felt and what I saw

 

I thought I could write before

How wrong I was

My words are diminishing

Crumbling

Melting like a July snowman

A flock of dears – foreseeing an earthquake- running away

Dry autumn leaves dropping

Scattered in a stormy day

How can I construct my sentences when my dictionary is blank?

How can I?

Ashamed of their flaws

Fearful of their impotence

All escaped

And words are no more

For how can they describe the indescribable?

As the universe stops revolving

And falls into stillness

Faints into nothingness

Fades into silence

In the presence of

The Sublime

17 January 2007

 

© Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved 

 

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