Topography of my soul


When I was seven,
At gunpoint,
I was driven out of my land, Palestine
A Naksa, survivor, daughter of Nakba survivors
Eyes moist, gazing at the horizon
Fixated towards Jerusalem
Ever since
994296_607191465965399_1865253479_n
When I was seventeen,
My family departed Libya, moved away, as did I
Leaving all my friends behind
“I will not go through this again” I thought
“No more friends, no more love, no more gain
No more loss, no more separation, no more pain” I said to myself
999
At twenty seven,
A stranger in a strange land, London, UK
The chest of my beloved was ripped open
Valve replacement in his heart
Standing by his side in ICU
“I wish it was me under the surgeon’s knife”
“I could cope better, if I took your place”
Anguish, unbearable, legs turn jelly, I fell to the floor
broken_heart_by_starry_eyedkid-1_e1906ae0
At thirty seven,
Gasping for life, in a hospital bed in Whiston
With a fine thread, clutching onto hope
Wavering in and out of existence, for four years
Watching my children growing alone, playing alone
Sobbing at my baby’s daily questions:
“Are you feeling better, mama? Can you give me a bath?
Can you tell me a story? Can we play outside today?”
 “Does that grey colour in your hair mean  you’re going to die soon, mama?”

541711_202523819920731_158562039_n

At forty seven,
Grieving the sudden loss of my soulmate,
Burying my beloved in Amman graveyard
Frozen, flicking through my memories
Searching every corner of my mind
Digging my heart, carving the kernel of my soul
Maybe, just maybe, I could hear one of Khaled’s heartbeats!
Meet his shadow, touch his hand

Catch a whiff of his scent around

1235202_757176544298231_67634285_n
At fifty seven,
oops, not there yet !
* * *

NO… NO

Don’t get me wrong

I am not complaining, not at all
I am merely describing

The lowest points in time and space

Of the map of my journey, in the valleys of my soul

* * *
The rest is magic
Swaying hills, and gushing waterfalls
Great big mountains with high altitudes
Buoyant meadows and dancing rainbows,
Flowing rivers, pounding oceans, hymns of gratitude
Thank you Allah, Shukran ya wadoud
550771_457372147648346_1598061160_n

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Vinoth Ramachandra

IFES Secretary for Dialogue and Social Engagement

Global Justice in the 21st Century

commentary on global issues

Left Hook by Dean Henderson

A Weekly Whack at the Global Oligarchy

diggerfortruth

helping the Light overcome the darkness

James Perloff

formerly refugebooks.com

zaidpub

A Muslim's View

billziegler1947

Discomfit irritates false comfort.

| truthaholics

Exposing Truth Behind Media Spin

No Time to Think

The words, poems, stories and thoughts of award winning writer and journalist, Nic Outterside

Plato's Guns

M i d e a s t Newsstand

Palestine Momentum

Writers For Palestine

Poetry for Palestine

Palestine, Poetry, Truth-Seeking,

مدونة عزت غيث

قوانين، مذكرات، مقالات المحامي عزت غيث مكتب المحامي عزت نصر غيث : عمان - جبل الحسين - دوار فراس - عمارة قدورة تلفون 0797900678 - 0788850180

Strings of Soulfulness

The strings of my life’s soulfulness in the beauty of eternity.

مدوّنة مريم

“Each generation must discover its mission, fulfill it or betray it, in relative opacity.”

YA BAKİ ENTEL BAKİ

"İlahi Ente Maksudi ve Rızake Matlubi"

The question of Palestine

Palestine is still the question

لماذا غزة؟ Why Gaza?

An American searching for answers in the Middle East

Rehmat's World

"There is no compulsion in religion," - Holy Qur'an

hussienclimateleaders

The Climate Crises

PALESTINE FROM MY EYES

Generating a fearless and humanising narrative on Palestine!

Uprootedpalestinians's Blog

Palestinians are at the heart of the conflict in the M.E Palestinians uprooted by force of arms.. Yet faced immense difficulties have survived, kept alive their history and culture, passed keys of family homes in occupied Palestine from one generation to the next.

Eye On Palestine

By the Palestinian Photographer Ahmad Mesleh

The Passionate Attachment

America's entanglement with Israel

Occupied Palestine | فلسطين

Blogging 4 Human Rights & Liberation of Palestine! فلسطين

Mystery Worshiper's Blog

Searching for churches where His law is Love and His gospel is Peace

The Slog.

An incorrigible Cognitive Dissident

Aletho News

ΑΛΗΘΩΣ

John's Consciousness

Exploring our "Inner Evolution"

Sami, The Bedouin.

Writing from and for Palestine

Maidhc Ó Cathail

Writing and Analysis

%d bloggers like this: